Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
