that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
