I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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