So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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