she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The uberlube is also flammable
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
