Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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