I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
