Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize