Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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