i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
