for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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