i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This is the high leading the old right now
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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