O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
