she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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