You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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