I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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