I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We just shotgunned beers for America
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
