I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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