can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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