oh fat girl friday strikes again...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
