Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
so much tequila, so little girl.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
