So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
