...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
