"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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