i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
