Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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