I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
