I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
