But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
