The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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