lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
