the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
