she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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