id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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