I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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