Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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