4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
