seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
