I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So much Jack, so little girl.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
