Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
