I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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