my room smells like sperm. sweet.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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