everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
