booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
