well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize