new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's shark week go big or go home
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
