So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There's always time for handjobs
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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