it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize
