she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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