I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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