clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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