I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize