I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
