Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
