You work out of a Hotel?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
false alarm, still single
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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