i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
