we're chasing vodka with high fives
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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