There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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