I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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