dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
