my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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