You can't special order awesome
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
